I wasn't sure I’d be able to get anything out in therapy. It felt forced, but he knows how to ask questions.

“Anything significant happen the last two weeks?’

How to answer. How to explain.

I didn't cry though. Answered as though it was a quiz. He kept digging.

In order to function it feels as though I've locked myself in a block of ice. Whatever I do, I can't melt. So I stay cold. Sometimes numb. (Numb is ideal, but frozen is more likely.) Sometimes I almost melt. But I have to stay in that block of ice in order to keep going.

Dark. Foggy. Block of ice.

Does that make sense?

Probably not.