I started noticing the signs. It escalated in a way that I haven't experienced since before moving to NL. To put it into perspective, I was consciously sedated after a night with no sleep and continued to not sleep.

Keeping myself under control during August will go down as one of, if not the hardest, months of my life. I won't be going into detail because I remain worried people will judge or be scared of me, but so thankful to say I'm no longer keeping Calvin awake all night, considering selling the shoe and moving away, screeching in untold volumes, dancing over and over to one song, thinking of going on a Facebook posting spree of disastrous proportions, shaking uncontrollably, or many other such things.

I know I question it when the depression gets to its worst, but the hypomania and mania is terrifying because it's so much harder to hide. There is unending terror I won't be able to keep it together and that I will lose everything.

August felt so close to that line.